FAQ

1. What is with the name? You know that Cognitive Dissonance means: the feeling of discomfort when simultaneously holding two or more conflicting cognitions: ideas, beliefs, values or emotional reactions. What does that have to do with your show?

Nothing really. To be honest, we just liked the ring of the term. We know what it stands for, and occasionally we point it out when people should be experiencing it. But in reality, it sounded good.

2. Why do you laugh so much?

We find each other funny. We’ve known each other for twenty years and have made each other laugh quite a bit over that time.

3. Why do you laugh at your own jokes?

We do not laugh at our own jokes. We laugh in anticipation of our good friend laughing at something we said. Also if you are upset that we laugh at each other’s jokes, we are not sure whose jokes we should be laughing at.

4. Are you atheists?

Yes.

 

5. Why do you swear so much?

Because it is how we talk in real life in conversation with each other. We do not speak like this to everyone. In fact if you meet us we may use far fewer swear words. Our level of profanity is our natural comfort level and we don’t feel the need to censor ourselves.

6. Are you anti-Muslim (anti-Christian, anti-Buddhist, etc.)?

We are anti people hurting other people and using religion as a shield. We are not anti-Muslim, we are anti a woman being beaten because she had premarital sex. We are not anti Christian, we are against people using the bible to justify beating infants to death because the bible says so. We are not anti-Jewish, we are against someone performing a circumcision and then sucking the wound clean only to give a baby herpes that can kill it. 

7. Where do you get your stories?

We get them all over, from many different boards. You can always see the stories we read in the show notes for each episode. You can also see the stories that we might talk about on Facebook, Twitter and G+. We post a ton of stuff leading up to recording and then pare it down.

8 Do you vet your stories?

Kinda. We are more a joke show than a 100% accuracy kinda show. We look them over, sometimes we will express that we aren’t sure about the validity of a story and sometimes we are fooled. Feel free to correct us on big problems with what we say. But understand we use hyperbole for comedic effect, so don’t correct that.

9 I really liked [X] Guest. You should have them on every week!

No. This is our show. No one else is on weekly. It’s not that we don’t like our guests, it is that mixing a podcast with three people is exponentially harder. It is also is harder to schedule 3 people to talk at the same time. And you wouldn’t write a letter to the director of Game of Thrones telling him how awesome it would be if he wrote Capitan Jack Sparrow into each episode.

 

10 How many downloads / listeners do you have?

Somewhere between 5 and 1,000,000. Our metrics aren’t that accurate and the guy with the clicker thing in his hand sometimes falls asleep. 

11 I want to hear your other podcast that you did for 4 years before you started Cognitive Dissonance, but it isn’t on Itunes anymore?

It is here. Download away.

12 I really disagree with you about a movie review you did!

We don’t care. We know people don’t agree with all our opinions. We are cool with it.

 

13 Why do you always ask for people to rate you on Itunes?

Because it helps the show get more visibility and we are fucking vain.

14 I hate Itunes! I am not using it!

Cool. I hate your mom. I am still going to use her though.

15 What do people mean by Gloryhole!?

It comes from a clip that someone recorded for us and we used between segments. It is of someone singing:

“Who’s that guy on the other side of the gloryhole?
It’s Jesus!”

Someone suggested that we actually use that as a shorthand for: “Greetings good sir, I enjoy the electronic internet radio show you and your compatriot produce! It is the apple of my eye, the spring in my step, and the bee’s knees! Carry on!”

I could also be listeners are looking for a quick anonymous orgasm. We aren’t sure which.

 
16 Who is the girl who does reading on your show on occasion?

That is Sarah, Cecil’s wife.

10.Why do you end every week with the Skeptic’s Creed?

We think the poem represents our disgust for credulousness well.

18.Where can I find Tom’s other poetry?

Tom’s other poetry can be found here: http://contentedunderpressure.wordpress.com/

 

19. I found your theme song on this [commercial / other podcast / christian radio / fox news / etc]

We know. It isn’t ours. We got it from garageband. It is royalty free and sounds good so we used it. We don’t own it.

20. What is that song / bumper you play from?

All the music is royalty free stuff (mostly). That means that MANY other shows use all or most of the music we use. We realize that our intro songs are used by other podcasts and even Christian podcasts. It’s cool. It isn’t our music. Most of the stuff we reuse is linked below.

Clips:

Jan Crouch Asks You for Grocery Money

Fischer: Gays Responsible For The Nazi Party ( use a lot of him, search out if you hear his voice.)

A Few Good Men

Simpsons on Abortion

Bristol Palin and “The Situation” Talk About Abstinence

Woman Goes Crazy When Son Admits He is an Atheist

Michelle Bachman Says God is a Jehova. (Other stuff by her too.)

Louis CK on Pedophilia and the Church

Mike Huckabee on Evolution

Simpsons on Homosexuals

Rev. Hagee

Jesus Camp Clips

Jesus Camp Clip That Turns Into This Song

Lou Engle Loves the Hulk (just watch the whole fucking thing.)

A Clip From the Book of Mormon

Ghostbusters

Lots From Pat Robertson

The Three Stooges Talk to a Judge

Princess Bride on Torture

Michael Shermer on WuWu

Songs:

Our Theme

What We Play Under The First Clip

What We Play Under Our Break

What We Play Right Before the Email

 

Have you seen this? 

 

Yes. Many times.

 

9 comments on FAQ

  1. johnny gear says:

    Hi guys,

    Love the show and really appreciate all the work or lack there of that probably goes into it.

    I am emailing because I am an opinionated asshole and words sometimes hurt me.

    I understand it was likely not an elaborated viewpoint on libertarians, and at the present time the depiction of most tea party members is likely correct, but I would just like to clarify the position as I semi identify with the former.

    The Tea party most definitely, and in some cases Libertarianism has been co-opted by partisans looking to snatch up more voting demographics but on most issues they generally diverge from the actual philosophies.

    The priest or whatever he was you spoke of could be considered a neo libertarian perhaps. A true libertarian would largely be against censorship and would likely prefer a free market solution to censorship requirements.

    Adults should be able to make their own decisions about what they do after all.

    Thanks again for the podcast; love your work.

    JG

  2. Velia says:

    I see your #18, “What do people mean by gloryhole”, but unfortunately it doesn’t address my question: how on earth did you get people to start using this phrase in this way? I must have missed that episode! Please explain, or tell us what episode got this convention started and I’ll go back and listen. Thanks!

    1. Kim Hansen says:

      I suggested it to the hosts and they promoted it on the show on March 24th. They name a »Kim from Denmark« in the show. I can’t remember the episode number though – it must have been the one that came out just after March 24th

  3. Michael Lieberman says:

    I love your podcast. I’ve listened to every episode.

    One comment. In a recent episode, you talked about Orthodox Jews kidnapping and torturing husbands who refused to grant their wives a divorce. You described the perps as “Jew Thugs.” You also used the phrase “Jew divorce.”

    I think you should be careful about the “Jew X” phraseology. Calling someone “a Jewish boy” is fine. Calling them “a Jew boy” is a slur. I suspect that if you asked 100 Jews what they felt about your use of “Jew thugs” and “Jew divorce,” all of them would take offense. I don’t think you intended it in a derogatory way. You were trying to be funny but used the word “Jew” in a way that comes across as insulting.

    Btw I’m half Jewish, raised Catholic and as devout an atheist as they come. And I think the Jewish religion is as preposterous as all the rest, but the food is great.

  4. Ted Moseby says:

    Thought you guys might be interested in who our generation’s Pat Robertson is: Mark Driscoll:

    With Quotes like: “I know who made the environment,” Driscoll reportedly said. “He’s coming back, and he’s going to burn it all up. So yes, I drive an SUV.”

    Read this article: http://jonathanmerritt.religionnews.com/2013/05/13/is-mark-driscoll-this-generations-pat-robertson/

  5. Annonymous says:

    When did the whole long black cock thing start? It’s moderately hilarious.

    1. diss0713 says:

      We did a “Sing the Islamic Call to Prayer” contest a while back. That was one of the entries.

  6. RE: The no-husband = no-AC thing…

    In this case, it’s clear that by “adultery” they mean rape. The joke is that a woman will immediately decide to go out and do some adulteratin’ as soon as her man isn’t home, but that’s not what they’re talking about at ALL.

    Which I’m sure you know, but I couldn’t stop myself from writing this down. It wouldn’t leave my head otherwise.

    These women aren’t being punished, they’re being obliterated. Because it’s their fault that men will break into their homes if they are alone and “commit adultery with” them by force.

    Of all the fucked up policy suggestions to come from this line of thought, I find this one particularly telling.

    1. Dammit, I did NOT mean to post this here, but on the most recent episode. It was just eating away at my brain SO hard. Please move or delete. 🙂

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